A small rant:
When did it become abnormal to care for your family? When did your parent become a burden? Really? A burden?
We had Frank's mom move to our house on July 8th (Frank's birthday as a matter of fact.) We had discussed it; a lot. We had discussions with each other, with God, and with our oldest children. We weighed the pros and cons for all of us involved in this decision.
And every time I mention that my mother-in-law is living with us I start to feel like I have to justify this decision. (sort of like justifying my Lucas: he is number 6 ya know)
And EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON has made comments that this move is a burden. (and here are my extremely sarcastic retorts; just in case you were wondering how I am handling this!)
~ Did your husband move her in?
Really, like he would do something like that without my knowledge?
um, no, actually it was my idea.
~ Are you sure you know what you're getting into?
nope - flying by the seat of our pants.
Yeah - we did think about it
~ That's going to be a lot of work.
cuz having 6 children and a husband isn't?
~ OH! your mother-in-law?
I do like her! She gave birth and raised an awesome dude! He didn't get that way all by himself!
and these great comments:
~ you deserve a halo!
Um, no, I am doing what I am supposed to: Honor thy mother and father - remember God and His commandments?
~ you must be bucking for sainthood!
of course! - aren't we supposed to aspire to be saints?
It is possible I am being oversensitive about this whole situation.
Maybe I am weird - maybe I am not supposed to like my mother-in-law - maybe I am supposed to put my parents (or parents-in-law) in a home where someone else can "deal with them"
Or, maybe I am supposed to do what I am doing: honoring my parents by honoring my mother-in-law (cuz really, my parents can move in too if they want: Mom - just sayin!).
Or, maybe I am just making sure my children have a different example to follow: after all, I am getting older.
Or maybe this is just my way of sharing God's love with those around me.
Or, maybe I am just weird - that is a total possibility,
ok - rant done.
You are most definitely NOT weird, my dear! My mom lives with us (we've even had an apartment built for her so that she can be independent until the time comes when we need to care for her) - and my children love-love-love it! They are growing up knowing their grandmother so much more than I ever did! My dad and his wife (my step-mom) have also taken in my step-mother's mother, and are caring for her (and my kids love-love-love to stay with grandpa & grandma & great-grandma!)
ReplyDeleteThis - this is what families DO! Kind of what love looks like - close up - you know?
Be encouraged and be happy!
thank you LuAnne: for stopping by and for the kind words.
Deleteblessings
K
Karen, As I was growing up, I had this example set for me in that my great-grandparents lived with my grands...I thought this was normal. NORMAL! Multi-generation households have historically been normative until recently, so forgive me if I give you huge kudos for doing what is right and bucking against our selfish culture that views it's elderly as a burden. Oh, I could say so much here, but suffice to say that my dh and I have agreed, since we were married, that we'd take in our parents when/if they needed to or wanted to. In fact, we're in the process of finding a place for my dad and stepmom to move on our road so that they're within minutes of us -- they want to be here, and we want them here, too. Such a blessing!
ReplyDeleteIn addition, our #2 son and his wife are moving in on Aug. 9 for a season or two. The comments we've received for that decision have been less than positive, but we know we're called to walk a different, narrow, and likely more sanctifying path, and we look forward to what the Lord has in store for us.
Would love to sit over coffee and chat about this with you, but the 3000 miles are somewhat prohibitive. :)
Blessings, ~Lisa
Oh what fun to have so much family around!
DeleteI am not questioning our decision so much as questioning why everyone has such a negative reaction! Or why everyone thinks I am some sort of fantastic person to have made this decision.
Sort of a different side of the same soapbox regarding the amount of children we have. It's not like I go around asking people why they don't have more children than they do! LOL
You are sweet = and we have space for you at the table for coffee (and food!) if you every make it to this side of the country!
blessings