It's All About Me

"It's All About Me" is a phrase I use a lot. With family, friends, at Bible Study - wherever and whenever.

We are beginning a new Bible Study: 'Untold Blessing, Three Paths to Holiness'  by Rev. Robert Barron. The introduction asked us to read John 13:1-15 and reflect on how Jesus modeled for us the fact that "it's not about you." So now, this phrase "it's all about me' is on the front burner of my pondering mind..

As John tells us, Jesus took on the role of servant to his disciples - an action that to this day is uncomfortable for many people. We are told by many sources that we are to be commended for having things, especially expensive things; we are to be served by others and it better be quickly, too; we are to aim higher, bigger, faster. And yet, Jesus tells us to take a back seat, go slowly and be the servant because we are to have our lives BE ABOUT OTHERS. Sometimes, I think as a mom it is easier to follow Jesus in this. By its very nature, motherhood is all about serving and making others the focus. How many times have I given up sleep to nurse a baby or to care for a sick little one? How many times have I given up time to drive a child someplace I would rather not be? How many times have I cooked or cleaned when I would rather be reading or crocheting or even catching up on that sleep? Yeah, I got the serving down, now for the attitude to go with the serving! I still look for that applause when I have made dinner or got the laundry finished. I am still looking for the recognition of all that I have 'given up' when doing my appointed 'duties' as mom. And, yet, that is not what Jesus wants me to do. I need to remember my applause is in requests for food, rides, or clothes my family knows I will provide to the best of my ability. So in this aspect of my life, I am good with the fact that it is not all about me and will have to remember to refrain from using this phrase, even as a joke.

And while pondering this phrase, I began reflecting on my decision to record our home education efforts this year. I started having visions of a big head. Not pretty. For what purpose am I putting this information here? I hope I remain true to the initial purpose, which is to create memories for distant family to visit during the present and local family to revisit in the future. (And sometimes to record thoughts to make the journey make more sense for me as I try to become more God-centered and less me-centered.) And yet, this experience has caused me to reflect on the large 'ME-attitude' infused in the previous posts....

I, I, I - as Princess Mia said so eloquently in 'The Princess Diaries' movie: "How many times a day do I say I?" And this is to remind me and everyone who may come across this memory site, that I am not the creator of all these wonderful memories, I am just the recorder; I am not the planner of all these cool ideas in our education journey, I am just the implementer in our home of other moms' ideas. It is not all about me here either. I will try to keep that in mind at all times here.

However, I have come to the conclusion that there is a time for the "it's all about me" attitude and that has to be when reading God's Word. All joking aside, my bible study does need to be all about me. If I read God's Word for someone else, I am trying to do His job. I am judging what someone else needs or should do and I can't know what is best for someone else.  If I hear a homily at Mass and spend the time making a list of people who should be there to listen to what God is saying, I am missing what God is saying to me. My job is difficult enough, I don't really think I need to try to take over His, nor does He want me to. So, when I say "It's All About Me" at Bible Study - that's a good thing - it means I am listening.